Santa – Banta Jokes

Posted by admin | October 22, 2009 .

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
santa comleated his MBBS &did his 1st operation soon after finishing the patient dead
he prayed: Bhagavan mera pehla "Gift" swikar karo.
An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.

Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?

Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .
Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!
Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon.
Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa: Maine mana kiya that…
Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!
An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.

Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?

Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.
Santa: Tainu tairna aanda hai?
Banta: No
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair lende ne
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?
Santa: Aaho
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai?
1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola”muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
Santa : I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs
Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge? santa:Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA – Connecting pipal
Santa: Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai.
Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai.
Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe baithi thi, name
plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata
Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying…. When Banta asked what he was doing…. He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!
Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don't know.
Santa: Well… He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!
Santa 2 pandit: ye tere sir par choti kyu? Pandit: Ye mera ANTENA hai, Isse muje vichar aate hai. Santa: Kamal hai yaha to Dish Tv hai to bhi nahi aate..
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car. Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Banta : Dont worry, I have one more.
Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water?
Banta: 1 Frog.
Santa: Theek hai hor das?
Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa.
santa asks banta to bring a pepsi. banta brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar. why ?? why ?? Ans: Tendulkar is an opener.
Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.
Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art? Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!
Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly. Man next 2
him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my wife.
Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn
Santa banta jngl me:Samne sher aya,1ne mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,2nd wahi ruk gya Santa :abe bhag Banta :me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he
Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo.
Santa banta ko 3 live Bomb milte hai… Santa aur banta un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai…….. (raste mein… ) Santa : agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to??? Banta:jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the.